Sexy, Single, And Satisfied: Don’t Feed Into Double Standards In Dating

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This theory infuriates me, and I’m about to tell you why.

As we all know, we live in a society that was pretty much founded on double standards. Men have always been expected to “be the man” by working hard to provide stability and women have always been expected to maintain balance. Young men are expected to play the field and soar their royal oats until they’re finally ready to settle down and choose their mate. On the other hand, women are expected to sit with their legs crossed waiting to be chosen. But why is that? Why is it that women are supposed to sit around waiting patiently for Mr. Right; while men have the luxury of shopping around until they find the right fit?

The idea of living a fairytale life was forced on me at an early age. I remember watching all of the classic Disney movies and thinking, I cant wait to find my Prince Charming, my Simba, or my John Smith. I was anxious to find my hero, as if I needed to be saved. My mother preached to me about being classy and sophisticated. “No man will want a woman that’s out there.” But what exactly is out there? Being a whore? The last time I checked, being a whore isn’t gender specific. Men can be whores too so what woman wants a man that’s out there? What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, right?

When I tell people I am a single woman in my twenties, the response is always the same. People always tell me to focus on myself while I’m still young and I agree with that 100%. However, when I tell people I have “gentleman callers” that I see absolutely no long-term future with, their responses are different. People are always telling me to date with purpose and wait on Mr. Right but what if I’m not the waiting type? What’s wrong with me dating for fun? I don’t imagine a future with every guy that I come across. I hate the idea that men are allowed to date for fun and be normal sexual beings, while women who do the same thing run the risk of being labeled a whore.

Now, I’m not saying be promiscuous or sleep with every guy that you come across. But you have the right to pick and choose whom you spend your time with. If you’re currently looking for Mr. Right then by all means, wait on him. But if you are sexy, single, and satisfied then you are under no obligation to conform to society’s dating standards. Do what suits you! Have fun, be young, but most importantly, BE SAFE! I’m sure y’all know what I mean by being safe.


Darshay K. Lampley is a Broadcast Journalism major and Creative Writing minor at Jacksonville State University. Upon graduating, she anticipates a lucrative career in the entertainment industry. Darshay is an entertainment journalist, on-air radio personality, and is currently writing her first book. Darshay believes that her ambition along with her strong faith in God will lead her down the pathway to success. "God is within her, she will not fail." Psalm 46:5

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